Five Values That Lead To Developing Family Church

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As we’ve talked about many times before, developing family church community is a goal that most pastors share. However, as many of us know, the emphasis of family church isn’t always reflected in the actions of church leadership. The following values will help bring out the kind of family expression you’re looking for in your church.


The Family Value of Intimacy

The value of intimacy is foundational to every family church. Intimacy implies a quality of relationship in which hearts are shared at the deepest level. We live in a relational universe, and God desires that we would know Him and make Him known. This call to intimacy isn’t merely knowing about God but actually having personal interaction with Him as we allow Him to search our innermost beings and seek to search out His.

We want intimacy with God, and we also want it with those we’re leading. We don’t want to be a distant leader who projects a holier-than-thou attitude, but we want to connect with those we’re leading, because that is what true spiritual parenthood looks like.


The Family Value of Integrity

Simply put, integrity allows you to be on the outside who you are on the inside; nothing about you gives a false impression. Integrity is a key element because the world can smell a hypocrite a mile away.

Many churches have great mission and vision statements that aren’t supported by the way leaders and members conduct their lives. This doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with bad intentions, but it occurs because the churches haven’t matched their internal desires with external outcomes. What do you value at your core? Make sure you value it all the way through your church, from the mission statement to the result.


The Family Value of Intentionality

Intentionality is the identification of a desired outcome and the prioritization of activities so we can achieve that outcome with the highest possible excellence. It’s making the main thing the main thing.

Every member of any church is essential to God’s purpose and has a divine destiny, and your responsibility as a leader is to help each person grow into that destiny. To do this, you need to be intentional to some degree, or you may find yourself leading them accidentally, which limits their ability to discover who God has called them to be. We want to be intentional about discipling the people God has entrusted to our care.


The Family Value of Individuality

Every person is unique. There are seven billion people on the earth, and not one of us has the same fingerprint. It is amazing how vast and perfect God is in His database. As disciple makers, we need to recognize individuality and customize our discipleship process to suit each person according to her history, gift-mix, calling, passion, and dreams. We need to be able to tune in and know people, customizing our care so we can give people what they need.


The Family Value of Interdependency 

Every family depends on the prosperity of its individual members. As a father in the natural and in the spiritual, I consider it my highest purpose to help each individual in my family identify God’s design for him and then begin to walk according to that design. I do this not only because I care about the individual, but I also care about the family as a whole. The truth is that I won’t be fully myself and achieve all God has ordained for me if I don’t help you achieve everything God is working for in your life. My value for individuality is rooted in my value for interdependency.

We weren’t created to be on our own—we were created to walk and do life together in Christ. We augment one another to the point that, like a completed jigsaw puzzle, the perfect image of Christ is presented to the world.


Related Resources

Check out Destiny Finder, the companion website to Pastor’s Coach. It has tools designed to help people discover and fulfill their unique calling.

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